Kids on Marriage: What Makes Someone a Good Wife?


Sometimes you just feel completely uninspired about how to be the wife that your husband needs you to be. If you’re in one of those slumps, never fear. I have polled the experts...the ones that live with you, watch your marriage, and soak in every word and nuance like sponges. Yep, your kids.


Turns out they have some GREAT advice about how you can be doing better. Here’s a sampling of kids’ responses to the question…

What do you think makes someone a good wife?

“Not being mean to children.”
-Canden, Age 5

“Number one, they have to love the Lord. They have to be patient and calm so that they don’t really get too hot tempered. They have to have good work skills too, because the guy’s gonna be away almost every single day except for two days. It’s hard to think of anything else.”
-Isaiah, Age 11

“Why are you asking me?”
-Eva, Age 8

“She cares about her husband and the family and the people she loves. And she does surprises.”
-Sam, Age 11

“If you want kids, you need a nice wife.”
-Jocelyn, Age 8

“Someone who cleans up after you.”
-Andrew, Age 12

“Someone who is an artist, helps the poor because that is a nice thing to do, loves the husband, makes food for the husband, sleds with her husband, and has a lot of fun.”
-Jane, Age 6

“Someone who believes in God and also that they are beautiful. And that they are nice.”
-Gavin, Age 8

“It’s someone who listens to you, someone who will give you help when it is needed, and someone who has many talents so that they could be the mom at home or the mom at the job. Having a wife is great.”
-Brayden, Age 12

“Zero!!! I don’t want to fall in love!!”
-Lincoln, Age 6

“To be good to your kids and to help your husband if he gets old.”
-Abby, Age 6

“I love you and that’s what makes you a good wife. I don’t know what else makes you a good wife. Going on dates with Daddy, that makes you good. Mama, can I have a popsicle?”
-Violet, Age 4

Photo credits Ellen Swalley/ Red Sweater Photography

Photo credits Ellen Swalley/ Red Sweater Photography

“Give people good food.”
-Andrew, Age 5

“They love the Lord. They love you. They like their husband’s mom and dad.”
-Eva, Age 8

-Everett, Age 3

“She has to be cool to me.”
-Ryder, Age 4

“Religion, meaning the same religion we believe in. Why are we even having this conversation like 10 years before I even get married? Actions, if they are nice to people. If they have any bounty.” [Mom: “What’s that?”] “It would take me like 5 years to explain. Ask Dad.”
-Luke, Age 11


“To be a good wife is to help each other and get brothers and sisters for your babies.”
-Abby, Age 6

“I don’t know, I’m not married yet. Being a Christian, that’s about it. I honestly don’t know, I’m not getting married for like 10 years. I haven’t even thought about this stuff before!”
-Owen, Age 13

“Umm, a good husband.”
-Emerson, Age 4

“To have kids and be happy. And then maybe your kids will love you too.”
-CJ, Age 5

“When they give him a surprise.”
-Shay, Age 2

“They are happy.”
-Hudson, Age 6

“How she takes care of the family and if she tries her best.”
-Ben, Age 9

“Loves her children and takes care of her husband.”
-Ainsley, Age 6

“Ants. And moms.”
-Jesse, Age 3

“With a boy. With her wife, and her man. That she has a man, that makes her good. And she’s gonna marry him. And she gets flowers. And she gets a dress and she gets a crown. And she gets to, um, eat cake. And she gets to have wedding cake. And she gets to put it on the wife’s face. Sometimes the wife puts cake on their face and stuff. And she gets to dance with him. And the yucky part when she kisses, ugh.”
-Samantha, Age 6

“Carrie.” [Dad: “What’s Carrie? Do you know what a wife is?”] “Yeah. Her.” [Points to stuffed bear.]
-DJ, Age 3

“Make sure she doesn’t not pay attention to her husband.”
-Zoe, Age 8

“Being nice to your husband and nice to your family.”
-Abi, Age 5


“Helping people by taking care of them, keeping them alive.”
-Ethan, Age 6

“A wife who is always growing in her relationship with God and her husband.”
-Carson, Age 13

“Loves somebody.”
-Emery, Age 5

-Adley, Age 5

“I don’t know...take care of babies really good?”
-Lilyanna, Age 5

“When they dance with their husband and then he says thanks.”
-Emerson, Age 4

“She says nice stuff.”
-Anastasia, Age 5

“Someone you can trust and trusts you. You need complete trust in each other.”
-Marc, Age 18

“Someone who does the dishes instead of the husband.”
-Ryan, Age 10

“Other than someone who loves the Lord...wise and smart.”
-Zeke, Age 11

“I don’t know. Just kidding, I know. I’m just not telling you.”
-Evan, Age 5

“Loyalty and the ability to put yourself in your husband’s shoes. Intelligent and moral.”
-Sallik, Age 18

“Personality, honesty, and a good cleaner.”
-Calen, Age 10

“She is loving and caring and has ‘everyday skills.’ “
-Charlie, Age 11

“Nothing, just be good.”
-McKenna, Age 3

“My mom.”
-Lana, Age 6

Well there ya go! This was actually quite an eye opening experiment. I assumed we would get all sorts of nonsensical and hilarious answers (and there were certainly a few…!) but in general these kids knew what was up! The most common answers were that a good wife loves the Lord, is kind, is helpful, is a good listener, and loves her husband and children. Those answers were given countless times! The good news I see is 1) that our children are listening, watching, and seeing the RIGHT things modeled (yay moms!), and 2) that the formula is actually pretty darn easy to boil down. So keep it up, girls! Grow in your love for the Lord, and for your husband. Love your children. Be nice. Be helpful. And keep his “surprises” coming!

Posted on August 9, 2017 and filed under Building Your Family.